i read something funny today

i was on missed connections(<3),>

Anderson Cooper!!! - m4m-29-(Chelsea)

Anderson! You were reporting the news on FRIDAY NIGHT. I was at home, slender, relaxed, and confident. I was looking at you through the television scream(screen) and I thought you were checking me out on your end too! I know your broadcast goes into millions of homes but I know that Friday night you were broadcasting directly to me. And hey, I'm picking up what you're putting down stud. Anyways, I was not sure until right before the commercial break that you were definitely cruising me. And then, it happened! You said; "we'll be right back" and you looked down at your desk, and I thought, if he's interested, he'll look up at me one more time before they cut to commercial. And that's when it happened!! They cut to commercial without you looking up. But I told myself, if he is looking directly at the camera with a certain intensity (almost a squint) when they come back from commercials, he'll definitely be checking me out! And you were!! Aaaaagghh!! Like freaking magic man!! I adore flattery and you are sooooo handsome. But more than coy glances I appreciate directness. And if you read this. No, when you read this, yes, I'll have ONE drink with you. And no, you're not gonna get me all liquored up and have your way with me on the first date sneaky anchor man! And when I move in I hold the remote control!! And NO CNN!! That's for work! When you come home I need your attention to be on us! And no constant work chatter either, PLEASE!! I will already know everything you're gonna say from watching you on the news. So our dinner discussions will have to be limited to what I did that day at the petstore I work at. Or we can talk about the gym because that is neutral grounds. Or we can talk about night clubs and/or saunas. Or Beyonce. Because she is fierce! Or Tyra because she is fierce! Or Heidi because she is fierce!

i really do LOVE anderson cooper.

my two favorite boys

i read something funny today

dear god, this parachute is a napsack!

YALL. BEEN REAL BUSY. LOTSA STUFF GOING ON.
MY BABY IS CALLING THOUGH, SHE MADE ME CHEEZSTAYK.
BRB LATER IN LIKE A WEEK PROBS.
WHEN IM NOT BLOGGING HONEY, WHEN I AINT SLEEPING MAMA
BLOGGINS ON MY MIND

this future sucks

I must be making poor decisions, because I never sleep or move or do anything at all lately. Or at least it seems that way. Maybe I have a brain problem. Maybe my drug intake is too high. That would at least explain why I constantly forget what happens when I’m not sleeping. The thing is, my drug intake is real low. It must be something else.

 Whats going on in my life, you ask? Well, lets see. Its Thursday morning, 5am. Today, I woke up at about 12. Zoe, Roxanne, and I went to the Pratt dining hall to get coffee. Zoe and I had some questionable veal. Ive been eating a shitload the last couple of days. That’s because before anything else, I smoke. Must refrain from doing that…don’t even like weed. Kind of hate it, actually. Anyway, after eating Zoe and I napped. We may have watched The X-Files first, don’t remember. She slept through her 630pm class, we woke up at 8ish. Don’t think we did anything afterwards. We smoked and got bagels. These bagels were the only pleasant thing to happen to me today. They were really something.

 Yesterday, the world was a mess. Now that Obama has been elected its as if everyone around me is full of life and so damn excited for ‘the future’. Im far too tired to get excited about ‘the future’. Smoked to celebrate. That was all.

 Made a new friend the day before. That was excellent. We’ll call him RGR. Great guy. Has a wonderful apartment, right near my favorite pier on the Hudson River. From his tenth story window you can literally see all of New York: leaning out the window with a cigarette in my hand, I could swear I would reach the lit buildings making up a skyline you only see on ‘Friends’. We spent 33 hours together. I counted. I told him everything about myself, more than he even wanted to know im sure. Still, he listened and smiled and told me how he loved listening to me, pointing out “boyish charm” in the way I purse my lips and let my eyes wander as I search for the most articulate way to phrase my sentence. I’ve never considered myself to bear much “boyish charm”, but if it’s true I hope it shows. I like people with boyish charm. I would like to have some myself. I hope we will get together again. He asked that I be around to get together next week when he gets back from a business trip to LA. It would be nice.

 That last paragraph makes it seem that I have some wonderful love prospect. I don’t. This was a very friendly encounter. Which is nice. I need some friends. I love the ones I have but lately ive remembered my closest friends from home and friends from the past and now the amount of distance is clear in my mind. I doubt I could handle a romantic endeavor right now anyway. The closest I’ve had to that recently didn’t go so well, or isn’t going well I guess. We’ll call him ESS. We had obstacles to begin with, then to make it worse turns out ESS has some baggage of his own. I hate when other people have mental shit to deal with…it gets in the way of my own mental shit. He may have noticed I have some mental shit by now, but maybe not. At this point he mostly just assumes I have mental shit, I don’t think he has seen it first hand. Ive been careful to come off s very ‘together’ around him. I am pretty TOGETHER I think, but I have moments where things just don’t seem so bright. We have been taking space. First he asked for space. Then when he thought he’d had enough, I told him I could tell he needed more. Now, I just think the space is an excuse for us to drift far enough apart that him even contacting me again would seem forced. But I couldn’t sleep, so I instant messaged him this morning anyway. I really have come to accept that he wont get over the biggest obstacles that stand in the way of our friendship, contacting him was not something I did out of desperation for his affection. Honestly, he was the only person I knew who was awake. He has said really nice things to me, and written them down, too. I miss that. I guess there is a bit of desperation in wanting to talk to someone who has showered you with compliments before, even when you know you wont be hearing any more out of them. He said he had to run to the gym and that he would be back to talk more in an hour. I don’t think he’ll get back to me this morning. Who really goes to the gym at 5am? Nobody I know, that’s for goddamn sure.

 Thursday used to be my favorite day. I hope today is a day that makes me go, “Thursdays really are my favorite day”. I guess nothing is really wrong. But nothing is really great, either, is it? I may go home this weekend with Zoe. I have lost my ID for the fourth time so I need to replace it again. I could see my friend Molly. Love Molly. Miss Molly. We talked today, and I got excited to go home. I would see my mom, which could be pleasant or just awkward. We’ve talked on the phone lately. She never sounds great, and I am always so tired when I speak with her that I am sure she assumes my life has gone to shit. Its alright though, which is the best thing. I love that I feel gross now, but once the sun has come up, everything else will seem brighter, too.

 Listening to wolf parade right now. Looking at the myspace of the man who is going to do my next tattoo. Excited for new tattoos. Love permanently scarring my body.

 

Once the sun has  come up, everything else will seem brighter, too.

sure, politics are interesting...but check THIS out...

did you ever notice that there are more people in the world who commit suicide than people who wear fanny packs?

enjoy these excellent fanny-pack sites:

http://killerfannypack.wordpress.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_pack

http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2008/09/lindsay-lohan-r.html

freak pt. 3

The other night when i was at the awful halloween gathering (please see blog, 'now im hitting the six'), there was a point in the night where i told our host, Justin, about Vicki's google-image-search habits. I told how i opened her computer to find one window open with Cher searched under google images, and i had struggled alllll night to remember who the other random woman was with a search window open. I knew it ws someone random and irrelevant but i couldnt remember for the life of me who the fuck it was...

I remember now.

It was Fran Drescher.

freak pt. 2

i love vicki, but look at this slutbag-lindsay-lohan esque picture i found of her in her photobooth folder. wretched.


by the way, she is currently on the computer next to me looking online at wigs because she thinks her hair is growing too slowly.

freak

vicki has a habit of google image searching weird things. recently, it was cher. tonight, its giant pictures of burger kings chicken sangwiches.

Now I'm Hitting The Six

I'm awake at a reasonable hour on a sunday morning, and my mother left a wall posting on my facebook that says, "you have good eyebrows." As far as i'm concerned, it's a good day already.

Last Night, However...

It took me about 3 hours to actually get up and get into the shower. As much as i wanted to get my evening started, i just couldnt bring myself to get out of bed and into the bathroom. I finally gathered the strength, however, so i was sqeaky clean and pretty and smelled like flowers. Ariel and Vicki had been invited to some intimate gathering hosted by a close friend of their musician friend, Lucas. I hadn't planned on going until He called the girls asking them to hurry up because he felt awkward being alone at said gathering which was a group made entirely of homosexuals. Again, I was asked if i would be joining so I agreed. I got dressed, Photoboothed myself for a bit, and was ready to go(that is, after I dressed Vicki who was unable to pick out an outfit for herself). 

Our little team hopped on the subway and trekked from Union Square all the way up to 110th in Harlem. We got to the townhouse where the gathering was being hosted. Upon entering, the Gay who owned it offered us drinks and a place to sit. We were introduced to 5 more Gays and also Lucas' single hetero companion of the night. We took our seats on the couch. On the TV across from us, the same Bravo special they play every halloween since 2001, "100 Scariest Movie Moments", and projected on the wall behind us above the couch was a looped video made up of halloween movie clips.  Of course, everyone else in the room was sitting across from us watching the projection while our eyes were on the television. Constant conversation flowed , folks commenting on whatever movie was shown behind us, so in order to be a part of the conversation we had to crane our necks around to look behind us. Awkkk.  Finally after the movie countdown and clip shows ended, we put on the Halloween Special SNL episode from 2002. I was sure this would make conversation easier, but the night turned into a neverending pop-culture reference showdown. Mind you, i dont mean current pop-culture, "oh LiLo","Gossip Girl","Bernie Mac Died", etc, conversation. These references were more along the lines of, "Margaret Kidder", "Meg Tilly", "Chris Farley's drug problems" references. Important in the overall pop-culture scheme of things, however, irrelevant to my knowledge/interests. Awkkk.

Other Problems Of The Night:
1.The host of the gathering, Justin, was dressed as Heath Ledger from The Dark Night (makeup and all). As seasonally-appropriate as this was, it deeply bothered me that if i were to ever meet this Justin character again, he would recognize me but i would have no clue who he was seeing as I never actually saw his face. Scary/Awkkk.
2.As excited as i had been to know I was attending a get together made up mostly of smart, successful gays, I hadn't realized everyone of them would be between the ages of 30 and 40. Despite the fact that I am totally into older men, i wasn't exactly jumping out of my seat to blow one of these guys. Still, it was a blow to my ego to see that not a single one of these men seemed the slightest bit attracted to the single gay male in the room who wasn't old enough to run for president. (Not saying im especially attractive, or that men are obligated to be drawn to me, but you would expect at least one of these gays would be attracted to the only YOUNG gay man full of life and dainty youth who they could have easily gotten drunk and taken advantage of...No one gave me a second glance. Awkkk/Crushing.)
3.Justin had an adorable little dog, a black long-hair chihuahua i think. It was the cutest little fuck ever, HOWEVER, the dog wouldn't play with us!!! He would hardly come sniff our fingers unless we bribed him with pumpkin seeds! I had initially thought upon entering the house, "if nothing else, at least i'll get to play with a puppy!" Wrong.

The gathering slowed down, losing guests over the course of four hours. When everyone had finally left, we hugged our host goodbye and hopped on the subway, finally homeward bound after a night of boredom and losing all confindence I have in myself as a gay male. Upon returning to our building, Vicki and I went to Blue 9 Burger, rolled a special little cigarette, and ate our dinner in our small apartment bathroom. After fine-dining, we were still hungry so we made our way over to Duane Reade where we picked up some doritos and a sampler box of Whitman's Chocolates.

All in all, I have to say te evening was a total bust.

One more thing...While at the gathering, I recieved a single phone call from a girl i have met once at a bar and havent spoken to in at least 6 weeks. I assumed she had the wrong number, but she had called because she wanted me to come chill with her and her friends. Had it not been completely obvious that she was totally obliterated, I would have felt super complimented by her random invitation. Sadly, I am smarter than that and know she only called me after going through every other name in her cell's phonebook first.

Awkkk.

An Excellent Morning ITunes Shuffle While I Blog:
1.When I Get Up (live), Tegan And Sara
2.Satin In a Coffin, Modest Mouse
3.Maps (acoustic), Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4.Bingo (diplo mix), M.I.A.
5.Poster Of a Girl, Metric
6.Sunday Morning, No Doubt
7.A Children's Crusade On Acid, Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
8.Alphabet Pony, The Kills
9.Young Folks, Peter Bjorn and John
10.As is Life, Four Tet
11.Girl On The Wing, The Shins
12.Tuff Ghost, The Unicorns

my cat is a pirate

so my cat, who has feline AIDS, developed a giant tumor behind his right eye a few months ago, and it has ony gotten worse. Yesterday, he had it removed. Removing the tumor also meant removing his eye. Now he looks like frankenstien.  Wretched. 

To make things worse, they also had to shave his face. How sad. 

I miss animals.

I want one, or at least a friend with animals. 

I had a friend with a dog but that certain friend doesnt seem too keen on being my friend anymore. 

Hagsville.

they'll always want we we got

"zoe quick!"

"whaat..."

"get me your computer! im on the verge of a break through!"

"....huhhh?'

"IVE GOT A BLOGGING TRAIN ON THE WAY AND I DONT WANT TO MISS IT! i have to write this blog now! by the time i get to an internet connection to write it the blog may have died in my head!"

"....whaaat do you meann?"

"just get me your computer now!"

 she clearly does not know anything about the art of blogging.

anyway, this is an interesting observation i have had based on zoe's roommate:

 
zoe has a roommate, Min-Joo, who is an extremely peppy exchange student from one of the many asia countries. Accent and all. She often has her little friend, also from asia, over to watch japanese video diaries on the internet, etc. etc. I love Min-Joo. She is super sweet and i love her. Still, it fascinates me to watch Min-Joo and her little friend giggling at their cartoons and asian internet as if they were lions on animal planet. While looking up at them occasionally throughout my conversation with Zoe, I would hear them listening to Fergie, the recent Gwen Stefani, Diplo remixes of M.I.A., etc., giggling, occasional pops of asian jokes from they're young, naive lips, I can just imagine viewing the subtitles on a video of their brain, reading, "ohh! look at her hair! ees so blonde and naturally crimped! i love hur fair skeen, and bloo eyes!". How they love our white pop culture so...

 Oh i love them. Little do they know, out pop culture is highly uninspired  and worlthless :) Dream Big, young asians! Eyes to the heavens!

 

 

when the saints come marching in

today, as always, i didnt wake up until dinner time. then i watched grease two(oh hell yes) with vicky. nothing excites me more than a michelle pfieffer,maxwell caulfield cupcake(he's the cake, she's the icing)...and nothing excites vicky more than drinking.
...so we made it exciting.


it goes like this...
1.pop Grease 2 into the dvd player.
2.have your alcohol of choice (chaser optional) and shot glasses handy.
3.drink every time the someone says either "T-Bird" or "Pink Lady", however it only counts for a single shot if said within a musical number.
4.drink every time the talent show is referenced.
5. drink every time there is sexual tension between Michael and Stephanie.
6. Drink every time there is a voice over in a musical number.


if you can get through the first 30 minutes of the movie, you will be trashed.




ANYWAY i got off topic. during grease two, i got a baller new ringtone, COOL RIDER from grease 2. then when grease 2 ended, i was all "FUCK!" cause ariel told me that the yelle show is at 7, not 8. we haul ass 50 feet to webster hall and buy tickets. we go inside. yelle doesnt start for another 3 hours. we move to the opening acts anyway, but by the time yelle is on we are forced to move from stagefront because of the annoying homosexual grinding on ariel, jameson, and i. Jameson and i lose ariel in the crowd and end up dancing on the VIP balcony for the rest of the show. we were not vip's nor did i ever realize we were in the vip area until 30 minutes after the show, but for whatever reason we were not escorted off the balcony unlike some yound SC3n3ST3R girls with studed belts and pockets. the show was fun. i sweat all over myself and took a shower as quickly as possible.


then jameson and i caught up on the last gossip girl. you may call me a faggot but the show is baller as hell. not much happened after that. i was going to write college essays(oh yeah, going to college at some point because being homeless wont work forever) but instead i finger painted a naked lady. then i blogged.


all in all, it was a billboard time.